Coyotee's get less ugly
Regular readers will no doubt have noticed a few
names of bars cropping up more often than others
in this column over the years. The chief reason for
this is quite simple. These places are run by managements
who understand the value of publicity and make a
point of imparting information -as far in advance
as possible- about future events and activities such
as anniversaries, birthdays, and dance contests.
This column has always had an e-mail address appended
to it and anyone who wants to publicise
relevant information regarding their boozer can let
me know and I will write it up. No one is barred.
I have absolutely no financial interest in any joint
here in Pattaya, or anywhere else for that matter.
With more than 60 gogos and about 800 other varieties
of night entertainment places spread the length and
breadth of Pattaya and just 14 days between issues
of this ezine I would have to go to four or five
different palaces of the chrome pole each and every
night just to keep a check on all that's happening.
That might sound like fun to some people, but I actually
have a life outside of wandering around boozers.
So, to those who think this column is designed for
a privileged few, get your fingers tapping on the
keyboard and send an e-mail, you might be pleasantly
surprised.
An Ace in the Hole: One of the
nicest blokes in town, Martin the Elephant Man will
be holding what he calls his '40 plus a lot more'
birthday party at his establishment the Ace
Café on Saturday 17 December. The
usual non-kosher item referred to as a pig will be
spinning on a spit and a European and Thai buffet
will be laid out. The affair will kick off in the
late afternoon and Martin says dress is optional.
The Ace Café is on the Hanuman statue corner
in Jomtien, across the road from the Pattaya Properties
office.
Hardly a Cartoon Character: “It's
really good in there.” That was the comment passed
to me by one of two young guys who were just leaving
the Coyotee's gogo ( Soi Marina
Plaza ) late one mid-week evening recently. It's
a comment I've heard quite a few times from various
people over the last month or so and when I went
in the place lived up to the wraps being bandied
about. There's no doubt this den has come a long
way in a short time, despite its relatively poor
location.
The joint is clean, bright, and laid out in a thoughtful
and entertaining manner. There were plenty of dancing
maidens cavorting about the place and I was told
there are no less than 27 showgirls. By the time
you read this there will have been a hot shower section
installed upstairs where, no doubt, those damsels
who find the task of chrome pole molesting rather
sweaty will be performing public ablutions.
So much seems to be happening that many of the young
ladies are in such a hurry to get on stage they forget
everything except their socks. Mind you, I haven't
seen anyone complaining.
The management have taken up the idea of running
regular in-house dance contests (but haven't quite
worked out what to do with an e-mail address; see
above ), with two being held so far. The next
one is apparently planned for some time in January.
The foreign manager of the famous Thai rock singer
Sek-Loso was in the audience for the most recent
dance contest and rumour has it the band might well
make an appearance in the den late on Friday 16 December.
Definitely a place you should put on your ‘must
visit' list.
Meet Me by the Big Fish: Set on
the way to the Fitness Park on Pratamnak Hill, the
former Freeway gogo has been re-named
the Meeting Club. According to reports,
the old swimming pool is now filled with marine life,
some of it quite attractive if you happen to be into
large aquatic creatures. There are, of course, attractions
without scales, in the form of dancing maidens who
begin work when the den opens at 3:00PM. There's
no draught amber but prices are not outlandish with
Heineken at 85 baht, liver wasters (including the
top shelf gear) and lady drinks at 95 baht and lolly
water just 50 baht. The bar fine is standard 500
baht with lying-in facilities on site.
Clock Stopped: About a year or
so ago the popular FLB lounge lizard
libation room ( Walking Street ) changed hands for
a reportedly large wad of the folding stuff. At the
time the London Clock continued as manager, a position
he had held for more than three years and handled
well. For reasons best known to the new ownership,
the London Clock's services were quickly and quietly
dispensed with in the first week of December, so
it will be interesting to see what effect this has
on the direction FLB takes in coming months. I'm
led to believe the Clock is currently ticking away
with plans to launch his own venture come mid-2006.
Cultural Dancing: The Hot & Cold gogo
(Soi Post Office) has been well known for many years
for its ‘cultural' shows, which usually take place
around 10:30PM depending upon how many customers
are warming the available seats. The dancing maidens
have never been in the Walking Street class but they
are generally a friendly lot, with a number prepared
to keep their best assets on show from the time they
wander through the door until closing; basically
a ready-for-immediate-action look. The majority of
the dancers do have that be-medalled veteran of many
a chrome pole campaign look about them, but every
now and again management seems able to recruit a
few newcomers to serve their apprenticeship.
A major plus are the reasonable prices charged by
management. For example, a standard liver waster
(admittedly in a small tumbler) is 80 baht, the same
price as a lady drink. On a recent visit I was sat
with a couple of mates and we had desperate dancers
wander over for a sit and chat. Although they did
the standard “Hello, what your name where you come
from?” opening line, the third section, “Buy me dlink?” was,
thankfully, missing. Nor did we get the usual serving
wench point-and-bend-elbow salute to indicate we
should purchase a libation for the thirsty damsel
sat beside us. So, since they did sit and didn't ask,
we all asked them if they'd like a drink.
Mind you, the price for a short inspection of the
upstairs lying-in facilities with the damsel of your
unbridled lust is 500 baht for the boozer and 1,000
baht for her to show you her horizontal folk dancing
skills. If you'd like the lady of your choice to
spend a longer time giving you succour then the asking
price for her services rises to 2,000 baht.
Before High Tea: Further down the
road is the Far East Rock gogo.
This has its ups and downs in terms of numbers of
dancing maidens and the quality thereof, but in recent
times they seem to have recruited a steady team of
20 or more and with draught amber at 45 baht it is
a good afternoon den and the music tends to be quite
reasonable. It opens at 1:00PM and is usually at
its best from around 3:00 until 6:00PM.
Gouge Me Till it Hurts: A couple
of friends recently went into the Kitten
Club gogo (Pattayaland Soi 2) and came out
with a bad case of ‘cat-scratch fever' after being
charged 125 baht for a glass of lolly water and 135
baht for a small bottle of Heineken amber nectar.
A top-shelf liver waster retails at 145 baht while
lady drinks are anywhere from 140 baht to 215 baht
for a cocktail. The joint is now employing a gobble
of lady-boys and my friends noted they seemed to
be far more attractive than the female chrome pole
huggers.
Around and About: According to
the latest reports the much-vaunted and long-awaited
opening of the Angelwitch mega-show
den will now take place in the early part of January.
The new place is situated next door to the Fantasia and What's
Up gogos in Soi 15, just around the bend
from the very popular Beach Club flashing
palace.
The latest large-scale gogo to hit Walking Street
should have opened its doors, softly, by the time
you read this. I was under the impression it was
to be named Dream Girls but in fact
it is called X-Zone. Situated in
the new Covent Garden complex ( Walking Street )
it boasts four dancing stages.
The New Living Dolls gogo ( Walking
Street ) is promoting a happy hour on bar fines between
8:00 and 9:00PM and again from 1:30 to 3:00AM for
300 baht. In the first instance the damsels will
generally only go for a short time.
Carousel gogo (Soi Diamond) have
lifted their happy hour prices, but only marginally,
with all standard libations just 65 baht between
8:00 and 10:00PM; draught amber fluid is 55 baht
all night. The bar fine is now 550 baht.
Another ‘must visit' place is the Heaven
Above chrome pole palace (upstairs, Soi
Diamond), with a happy hour between 7:30 and 9:30PM
of just 45 baht for all standard thirst quenchers
and a veritable smorgasbord of dancing damsels
to suit all tastes.
Finally, in my last missive I mentioned the Club
Boesche gogo ( Covent Garden complex,
Walking Street ) and wasn't overly impressed. Since
my first visit I've been in briefly once again
and noticed management have managed to recruit
about another 40 or so dancing maidens and they
now run almost continuous shower/soapy shows. These
are proving popular, although I noticed the majority
of punters I saw seemed to be nursing a glass of
draught amber rather than cuddling a liver waster.
The draught was then retailing all night at 55
baht, but as of a week or so ago the impost has
been raised to 95 baht. Whether this will harm
business or not is yet to be seen.
Piece of Pith: It is not what you
wear; it is how you take it off.
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