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Pattaya by night gogos with the agogo girls

Feels Like it’s 2001 All Over Again: The new central government headed by Smackhead the Denier seems to be doing the standard ‘new broom sweeps clean’ first 100-days in office job and towards the end of the first week of March despatched a posse of Bangkok peelers to restore law and order to the recalcitrant city of Muang Farang, otherwise better known as Pattaya. Armed with the usual serious scowls, the Bangkokians made a point of telling bar owners in Fun Town the official closing time for places of entertainment is 2:00AM, this being long-enshrined in legislation written on the kind of yellowed parchment that can be viewed under glass in reputable museums.
Apart from losing business due to election voting, pre-election voting and the usual religious days, the operators in Fun Town now have to deal with the bussed-in plod from the capital. On a recent Friday night the brown-shirted imports forced the closure of the Byblos (Soi Diamond), Rock Girls (Soi 15), and Top Girls (Soi 14) gogos, although in fairness this was probably on the grounds of good taste in all three cases, with the latter being one of the most revolting rip-off joints in all Fun Town.
Long-termers will well remember the early days of the Fearless Leader government when Interior Minister Purely Puritanical had places of entertainment closing at 1:00AM with the result that potential new visitors to the fleshpots of Pattaya and Bangkok were wondering whether it was worth coming over. Of course, as the den owners started reducing the monthly tea money to the local plod the financial imperative kicked in and the bars started not only going back towards 2:00AM and beyond closing hours but far more flesh was on show.

No Smoke, Clearer Air, Busy Bars: The official ban on the smoking of cigarettes inside air-conditioned boozers is being enforced in a fairly relaxed fashion at present, with the word on the street being that it will be more rigorously policed around about the start of May. Many bar owners worried this new measure would drive customers out of the bars, but my own empiric evidence suggests it has had little or no effect on visitor numbers.
        The Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond) conducted its first in-house dance contest for 2008 on the Friday night prior to the bar closures for the Senate elections and although the place was almost empty at kick-off, within half an hour the joint was packed and owner Khun Tee reported a better-than-expected turnover. Diamond is one den that has banned smoking on its premises.
        Heaven Above chrome pole palace (Soi Diamond) has a truly impressive line-up of dancing damsels and it too has banned smoking inside the den. it tends to attract an early and then a late crowd and on a recent mid-week visit it too was packed to the gunwales with happy imbibers revelling in a smoke-free environment.
        Down in Soi 16, off Walking Street, the Club Boesche den, another place that tends to get busy later rather than earlier, has had a real dancing damsel staff turnover but despite this it now boasts more than 50 of the chrome pole molesters on its books. It too is operating under a smoke-free ruling and continues to attract plenty of custom.
        These results are no real surprise. A smoker can puff away any old time; looking at attractive young ladies either dancing or simply shuffling around a raised stage wearing less clothes than they probably sleep in is not something a smoker can do any time he pleases.

The Beginning of the Clean Out? Although starry-eyed foreigners with more cash than practical knowledge are constantly opening or purchasing bars across the length and breadth of Fun Town, thereby leading to an entire sub-economic class, the reality is that current levels of competition are such that many joints are struggling. Now, as the so-called high season comes to an end, the bar closures are beginning, especially among the lesser performers on the gogo circuit.
          Perhaps the most prominent closure is that of the Taboo chrome pole palace on Soi 16, a part of the Covent Garden Complex. This first started life as Babewatch, closed down, was sold, completely remodelled and came back as Taboo. Management ran a couple of good dance contests and there’s no doubt the place had potential. Unfortunately, the overall layout wasn’t as good as it might have been. The numbers of dancing damsels was never enough to make the den look busy. The overall quality was only average, although there were a few top-class chrome pole stylists operating out of the den at times. Another problem was the combination of chrome pole molesters with coyote-style dancers doesn’t really work. You can’t try and be all things to all people because you won’t attract sufficient punters. I’m sorry to see Taboo close as the people running it appeared a nice crew, although I think it may have suffered from sufficient knowledgeable hands-on expertise. No doubt someone will buy the place, as it is in a good location, and let’s hope the third reincarnation does well.
          Magic Palace gogo, another large room situated underneath the Polo shows-r-us palace, has also closed its doors. It opened without much fanfare just a few short months ago and never garnered any sort of following or attracted much in the way of quality chrome pole pulchritude.
          This appears to be one of those sites that for years has been akin to a black hole with hardly anyone making a success of a business venture. In the late 1990s it proved successful as the site of the original Tony’s late-night head bangers auditorium, but then failed when tried as a lounge-bar cum noshery called TW One, then as an gogo whose name escapes me at present, then as the Climax live-band auditorium and then Magic Palace. The location is good enough to attract custom, it just seems the right business has yet to hang out a shingle on the site.
          The E Goth, or whatever strange name it had, other gogo in Soi BJ closed its doors a few weeks ago after never attracting much more than a flicker of interest from the average punter and word around the traps is that there may be a few more places just about ready to pull the electrical cord on the neon lighting and watch the ice cubes melt while looking for an interested buyer.

Blatant Free Plug: After what seems an eternity the fourth edition of Pattaya by Night magazine is finally available. As with the third edition, it runs to 56 pages, filled with glossy colour pictures of ladies of nocturnal habits and questionable morals who ply their trade from the very best dens in Fun Town. The layout has had a professional graphic artist do things to the pages which make this edition a real standout and the best so far. The price remains the same, at 150 baht, and it can be found at places such as DK Bookshop in Soi Post Office, DK Bookshop in Central Pattaya Road, Pattaya Beach Books on the Second Floor of Tops Supermarket, and a host of other outlets.
          The front cover features a dancer from the long-established Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond). Inside the magazine are photo shoots from a number of gogo dance contests, anniversaries, parties, and a few posed shoots. I have no qualms in stating the 10 dens featured on the front cover as advertisers in the publication (all by invitation only) are among the very best places in Fun Town. Nine of them are on or about the environs of Walking Street, with only the Club Oasis chrome pole palace in Soi Buakhow from outside the recognised main nightlife centre of the city. Club Oasis just goes from strength to strength with some recent additions to the wallet-emptying stable being top-shelf as far as looks and youth are concerned.
          Going through the advertising list alphabetically, Angelwitch (Soi 15) must rate as one of the most professional places in all of Fun Town. From 10:00pm onwards the choreographed shows are well worth a look, and most punters appreciate the fact that libations have to be expensive to cover the large salaries of the trained performers.
          In the same soi, but very much at the other end of the scale is Baby Dolls. Here there is a good-priced happy hour and, in general, libations are reasonable for what is on offer. There are plenty of dancing damsels dressed in a fashion popular at naturist resorts while a number of props made of latex, plastic, and rubber are used to good effect.
          Casino Club (Soi Diamond) held a couple of packed-out dance contests during the last year or so and these are the focus of the photo spreads in the magazine. An intimate style of coyote den it remains one of the most popular, especially after 11:00PM most nights.
          Club Boesche (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) just gets better as time goes on. I remember not thinking much of the place in the first few weeks it was open, but as time has gone on the management have tweaked at the edges and honed their skills and now the den deserves to be placed on a regular visit list.
          The Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond) runs a regular series of popular in-house dance contests throughout the year and these are well covered throughout Pattaya by Night. The place is usually packed out within an hour of a contest beginning and generally stays very busy until the end. Plans are under way for a Wet T-shirt contest sometime in April.
          Heaven Above chrome pole palace (Soi Diamond) is easily the best ‘upstairs’ joint in Pattaya. A good management, plenty of dancing damsels, and a well thought out happy hour (between 8:00 and 10:00PM) just keeps punters coming back for more. One of my older mates considers Heaven Above to rank among his favourites in Fun Town, and considering he’s a ‘hard marker’ that’s high praise.
          A completely different style of place is the Secrets coyote dancer boozer, noshery, and sleeping palace (Soi 14). Their website forum has a swathe of members and the joint itself is nicely-appointed, friendly, and relaxing.
          Finally, both Super Baby and Super Girl chrome pole palaces are run by the same management and the faces on the doors have been there for so long they must have fantastic superannuation benefits being accrued. That factor alone should tell you the ownership clearly runs an employee-friendly operation. There are always upwards of 40 damsels in each den. Since a Jacuzzi was installed in Super Girl, the place, after going through a period of downturn, is now well and truly busy most nights.
          What’s especially noticeable about all of the above-mentioned places is the quality of the management. Each and every place is run by a person, or persons, who know what they are doing and how it should be done. Each has its own managerial style, but all of them recognise that to stay ahead of their competition they have to constantly be thinking of ways to keep themselves in the forefront of what is becoming a tougher and more discerning marketplace.

Piece of Pith: It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbours’ newspaper, that’s the time to do it.


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